My boyfriend's misery is disgusting

Ladies and gentlemen, buckle up for a wild ride through the cesspool of my love life. My boyfriend's misery isn't just a mood; it's a full-blown ecosystem. I swear, his tears could fill an Olympic-sized swimming pool, and his sighs could power a small wind farm. But here's the kicker: his despair is so potent, it's actually starting to grow mold. I'm not kidding! I found a new species of fungus thriving in the corner where he likes to brood. Scientists are calling it "Woebegoneus Boyfriendus." At this rate, I'll either win a Nobel Prize in biology or end up as the star of a new horror movie: "Attack of the 50-Foot Sulking Man." Stay tuned, folks. This trainwreck is just getting started.

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