My boyfriend has OCD and an over-hygiene problem

Ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you about my boyfriend. He's a real catch - if by "catch" you mean someone who'll scrub your apartment like it's a crime scene and treat hand sanitizer like it's liquid gold. His idea of foreplay? A thorough inspection of my dental hygiene routine. I swear, the man gets more excited by a new brand of disinfectant than he does by lingerie. Don't even get me started on our romantic dinners. Nothing says "I love you" quite like watching him meticulously wipe down every utensil while muttering about bacterial colonies. But hey, at least I never have to worry about a messy house... or touching anything... ever.

Play