My boyfriend is extremely possessive.

Ladies and gentlemen, buckle up for a wild ride into the twisted world of love and possession! My boyfriend? Oh, he's not just possessive – he's the Gollum of relationships, guarding me like I'm his precious ring. I swear, if he could, he'd keep me in a glass case with a "Do Not Touch" sign. But hey, who needs personal space or friends when you've got a human leech, right? I mean, nothing says "I love you" quite like tracking my every move and interrogating my houseplants about potential suitors. Join me as I navigate the treacherous waters of dating a man who thinks jealousy is a love language and paranoia is foreplay. Trust me, you'll laugh, you'll cringe, and you'll never look at your significant other the same way again!